Let's start out with a few very gorgeous BOOTYs in the visual department:
The BOOTY for"Best Graphics" goes to...
Golden Booty : Gears of War 2, for proving that, though the series may be aging, it's still quite a looker. In fact, it's as beautiful as a nubile woman.
Silver Booty : MGS4, because it looks pretty damn hot, but took a lot of years to get there. You just can't beat the wonderful facial structure in Gears 2.
The BOOTY for "Best Visual Style" goes to...
Golden Booty: Prince of Persia, for being a gorgeous interactive storybook.
Silver Booty: Braid, for being gorgeous, interactive, and having storybooks.
Bronze Booty: Banjo-Kazooie: N&B for pulling off the same visual remake better than Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
The BOOTY for "Most Dazzling Visuals" goes to...
Golden Booty: Geometry Wars Retro Evolved 2, for emulating the effects of staring into neon signs better than any other game.
The BOOTY for "Most Colorful Game" goes to...
Golden Booty: Banjo-Kazooie, for looking like a kids game, but not playing like one.
Silver Booty: Viva Piñata, for being another overly colorful game developed by Rare.
Bronze Booty: Geometry Wars 2, for emulating the effects of staring into neon signs better than any other game...
The BOOTY "Graphical Award for Having Visuals" goes to...
Golden Booty: Whatever Katamari game came out this year.
BOOTYs you can hear:
The BOOTY for "Most Improved Soundtrack" goes to...
Golden Booty: Gears of War 2, for having a soundtrack leaps and bounds above the first.
Silver Booty: Smash Bros. Brawl, for having a soundtrack so large it had to be better than the last.
The BOOTY for "If They Made a Soundtrack, I'd Buy It" goes to...
Golden Booty: Geometry Wars, for having an awesome soundtrack I can't even download illegally.
Silver Booty: Smash Bros. Brawl, for having an awesome soundtrack I can download illegally, but would still prefer to have on disk.
Bronze Booty: World of Goo, for having surprisingly good original music.
The BOOTY for "Crappiest Music" goes to...
Golden Booty: Mario Kart Wii, for making my ears bleed.
The BOOTY for "Best Use of Sound" goes to...
Golden Booty: Dead Space, for creating some real immersion and eeriness.
Silver Booty: Fallout 3, for having unparalleled depth to its sound effects.
Bronze Booty: Patapon, for incorporating rhythm like no other game.
The BOOTY for "Most Annoying Use of Sound" goes to....
Golden Booty: Left 4 dead, for it's irritating sound effects, piano music, and hearing "Reloading!" every five seconds.
Top BOOTYs:
The BOOTY for "Best RPG" goes to...
Golden Booty: Fallout 3, for being probably the only good RPG released this year.
The BOOTY for "Best Fighter" goes to...
Golden Booty: MK vs. DCU, for being excellent fun despite what the critics say.
Silver Booty: Smash Bros. Brawl, for being downright awesome.
Bronze Booty: Soul Calibur 4, for being the ultimate Soul Calibur experience.
The BOOTY for "Best Action Shooter" goes to...
Golden Booty: Gears 2, for excellently exceeding expectations.
Silver Booty: Dead Space, for doing the same thing but for the masses.
The BOOTY for "Best Racer" goes to...
Golden Booty: Burnout Paradise, for innovating the genre.
Silver Booty: Mario Kart Wii, for innovating the genre in a different way- plus, the controls actually worked well.
The BOOTY for "Best Downloadable Game" goes to...
Golden Booty: Castle Crashers, for containing fun not had since the days of TMNT arcade.
Silver Booty: Wolrd of Goo, for being challenging, strangely addictive, and unique
Bronze Booty: Braid, for being unique and hurting my brain.
The BOOTY for "Best Downloadable Content" goes to...
Gold Booty: Burnout Paradise, for giving us awesome stuff for free.
Silver Booty: Puzzle Quest expansion, for adding a lot to an already great game.
The BOOTY for "Best Platformer" goes to...
Gold Booty: Prince of Persia, for being a solid reinvention of the franchise
Silver Booty: Banjo-Kazooie, for, actually, the same thing.
The BOOTY for "Best Puzzle Game" goes to...
Gold Booty: Meteos Wars, for being more fun than i've ever had with a puzzle game.
Silver Booty: Braid, for technically qualifying.
The BOOTY for "Most Original Design" goes to...
Platinum Booty: Spore, for going where no game has gone before- even if it wasn't as good as people thought it would be.
Gold Booty: Banjo-Kazooie, for reinventing the platformer.
Silver Booty: World of Goo, for making physics fun.
Bronze Booty: Braid, for being truly unique.
Copper Booty: Patapon, for being a different kind of rhythm game.
Ultrium Booty: Mirror's Edge, for trying something new.
The BOOTY for "Sleeper Hit of the Year" goes to...
Gold Booty: World of Goo, because its really good and no one has ever played it.
Silver Booty: Dead Space, for not sucking and, in fact, being a solid title.
Bronze Booty: Patapon, for being the best game on the PSP all year and not selling.
The BOOTY for "Wii GOTY" goes to...
Gold Booty: Smash Bros Brawl, the best hardcore Wii game in a sea of casual.
Silver Booty: World of Goo, one of the best Wii games period that nobody's played.
Bronze Booty: No More Heroes, the other hardcore Wii game that shines in a sea of wax.
The BOOTY for "Best Online Game" goes to...
Gold Booty: Left 4 Dead, for being the ultimate co-op game.
Silver Booty: Gears 2, for the addition of Horde Mode.
Bronze Booty: COD:WAW, for being the same as COD4 but still fun.
Copper Booty: Reisitance 2, for having 60 player multiplayer. That counts for something, right?
The BOOTY for "Best Offline Game" goes to...
Gold Booty: Smash Bros. Brawl, for having the ultimate offline experience.
Silver Booty: Castle Crashers, for bringing your pals together like nothing else.
Bronze Booty: Gears 2, for excellent co-op.
The BOOTY for "Most Immerisve Game" goes to...
Gold Booty: Fallout 3, for being pretty damn immersive.
Silver Booty: MGS4, because I hear its also damn immersive.
The BOOTY for "Xbox GOTY" goes to...
Gold Booty: Gears 2, for blowing my mind at every turn.
Silver Booty: Fallout 3, for being the most fun since Oblivion.
The Overall Best BOOTY goes to...
Gold Booty: Gears 2, for proving sequels are not just a new coat of paint.
Silver Booty: Fallout 3, for being great but unable to nudge out Gears like Oblivion did in '06.
Bronze Booty: Brawl, for finally coming out and being a blast. Plus, I think we should have a Wii game up here.
Special BOOTYs:
The "Game We All Really Wanted to Play but Was Disqualified Because Nobody Wants to Buy a PS3 Just For One Decent Game" Award goes to...
Metal Gear Solid 4, for being a game we all wish we could play, but, unfortunately, will never be on the Xbox.
The "Disqualified because it's already won enough awards" Award goes to...
Grand Theft Auto 4, for winning a lot of awards.
The "We thought it was appropriate to make an award for this" Award goes to...
Ratchet and Clank: The Quest for Booty, for having the word Booty in the title.
The "Another Appropriately Titled Game" Award goes to...
Age of Booty, for also having Booty in the title.
The "Tried Really Hard But Failed" Award goes to...
Fable 2, for falling short on so many levels.
The "It's Great but not that Great" Award goes to...
Braid, for being great but not that great.
The "Worst Game with Highest Production Value" Award goes to...
Legendary, for being exceedingly average and almost winning the worst name award for "Legendary: The Box", but then, thankfully, changing it.
The "Worst Sequel" Award goes to....
Fable 2/ Mercenaries 2 tie this one, because they both sucked more than expected.
The "Biggest Letdown" Award goes to...
Fable 2, for living up to our expectations in the wrong way.
The "Massive Failure" Award goes to...
Mercenaries 2, for failing massively.
The "Game That Nobody Believed in but Me" Award goes to...
Dead Space, for being great despite everything everyone thought except for N-man.
The "Too Bad it Wasn't Better" Award goes to...
Mirror's Edge, for not being better than it was.
The "How did they fit it all on that disk!?" Award goes to...
Brawl, for having a crapload of content.
The "It Would Be An Impressive Amount of Content if it Wasn't on a 40GB BluRay Disk" Award goes to...
MGS4, for being large yet small for a BRD.
The "Godliest Soundtrack" Award goes to...
Smash Bros., for incorporating every Nintendo tune ever.
The "How the Crap Did They Pull it Off" Award goes to...
MK vs. DCU, for actually making sense.
The "Is This Series Really Still Going On?" Award goes to...
Crash, Spyro, and Tomb Raider, for being the energizer bunny.
The "Lamest Hero Name" Award goes to...
Jet Brody and Travis Touchdown, one is apparently from the OC, the other just wasn't well thought out.
The "Excessive Use of Hands on Boxart" Award goes to...
Dead Space, Prince of Persia, and Left 4 Dead, for all having hands as the prominent image on their boxes.
The "Worst Pun in a Game Title" Award goes to...
Left 4 Dead, because there's four survivors left. Get it?
The "Loves to Make Fun of Itself" Award goes to...
Banjo-Kazooie, for doing just that at every possible opportunity.
The "They Almost Had it, Then They F'ed it Up" Award goes to...
Sonic Unleased, for its addition of the werehog.
The "Best Sonic Game in the Last Decade" Award goes to...
Sonic Chronicles, for being good.
The "Most Hyped For No Reason" Award goes to...
LittleBigPlanet, for receiving an unnerving amount of excitement only to realize that it's not the best thing ever.
The "One Year Too Late" Award goes to...
Bioshock, which might have gotten an actual award if it wasn't a year late to the party.
The "Oldschool" Award goes to...
Mega Man 9, for keepin' it 8-bit.
The "Worst Name" Award goes to...
Twinkle Crusaders, for being self explanatory.
The "Longest Name" Award goes to...
Tōhoku Daigaku Karei Igaku Kenkyūjo Kawashima Ryuta Kyōju Kanshū Chotto Nō o Kitaeru Otona no DSi Training, for being very Japanese.
The "Actual Best Booties" Award goes to...
MGS4, for making everyone's ass, including Snake's, shapely and oddly attractive.
The "Best Co-Writer on Installation 04" Award goes to...
Doegab, because he told me to. And, no, no picture. Couldn't find a good one.
Uh, yeah, I think that covers it unless we think of something else. In which case, we'll update. Hope you enjoyed the BOOTY. Looking forward for even more next year.
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