October 26, 2008

Grudge Match: Captain America vs Captain Falcon

Well seeing as I haven't written anything in a while, I thought I would do a grudge match this week. Basically, in a grudge match, I take two random but similar things and pair them against each other. This month's match involves Captain Falcon vs Captain America.

(Note to clear up any confusion where talking about Steve Rogers Captain America, not Bucky)

Captain Falcon

Captain America

Brief history on both heroes.

Captain America: Directly from Wikipedia
"Steve Rogers was born on July 4, 1917 in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, New York City, to Irish immigrants Sarah and Joseph Rogers.[21] By the early 1940s, before America's entry into World War II, Rogers is a tall but scrawny fine arts student specializing in illustration. Disturbed by the rise of the Third Reich, Rogers attempts to enlist, only to be rejected due to his poor constitution. A U.S. Army officer looking for test subjects offers Rogers the chance to serve his country by taking part in a top-secret defense project — Operation: Rebirth, which seeks to develop a means of creating physically superior soldiers. Rogers volunteers for the research and, after a rigorous selection process, is chosen as the first human test subject for the Super-Soldier serum developed by the scientist "Dr. Josef Reinstein," later retroactively changed to a code name for the scientist Abraham Erskine.

The night Operation: Rebirth is implemented, Rogers receives injections and oral doses of the Super-Soldier formula. He is then exposed to a controlled burst of "Vita-Rays" that activate and stabilize the chemicals in his system. Although the process is arduous physically, it successfully alters his physiology almost instantly from its relatively frail form to the maximum of human efficiency, greatly enhancing his musculature and reflexes. Erskine declares Rogers to be the first of a new breed of man, a "nearly perfect human being"

TLDR version: Captain America was a geeky little artist named Steve Rogers who was labled too sick and weakly to join the army. He joined an experimental operation conducted by the U.S. government to create the pefect human soldier. It worked and Steve Rogers was tranformed from a weakling, to the pinnacle of human perfection.

Captain Falcon:Directly from Wikipedia with some minor tweakage
Captain Falcon, is shrouded in mystery. When not racing, he works at a bar that he owns under the name Bart Lemming. His real name is Andy Summer. He fights constantly against Black Shadow and the Dark Million Organization, and often lends a hand to the Task Force. According to the legend, Captain Falcon and Black Shadow are incarnations of light and dark, and in the manner of Yin and Yang, they can't defeat each other on their own.

TLDR version: If you seriously didn't read this because it was too long you fail, read it.

Now in order to be able to determine which hero would win in a death match, we will take a look at three distinct categories: Equipment, Enemies, and Powers.


Captain America:


Shield: To start off with the obvious, Captain America's shield. It is made of a nearly indestructible ficional metal called adamantium. The shield is completely bullet proof, but also very light and can be thrown as a projectile.

Uniform: Captain America's Uniform is fireproof and bullet proof, but it is also light enough to allow the user to move around freely without any restriction.

Motorcycle: Captain America has a motorcycle from S.H.I.E.L.D. modified with some basic weapondry.

Captain Falcon:


Uniform: Captain Falcon's uniform isn't bullet proof or fire proof like Captain America's uniform. However it does provide somewhat minmal protection and the metal pieces on his boots and gloves augment the damage done by his attacks.

Gun: Captain Falcon has a plasma blaster,oddly though he rarely uses it.

Blue Falcon(race car): The Blue Falcon goes extremely fast exceeding speeds of 1000 km/h and is armed with a variety of plasma based weapons.


Captain America:


Now I could write probaly a whole page full of blogger post simply listing which enemies Captain America fought. I'm obviously not going to to that however, instead I'm just going to focus on the most powerful enemy Captain America was able to defeat by himself.

The Hulk was by far the strongest enemy that Captain America has ever defeated by himself. Many people would just call this a bad call on the writers half, saying it is impossible for a mere human to defeat a Super poweful monster like the Hulk. However I disagree; while the Hulk is an increadibly powerful super hero with formidable regeneration abilites and super strength that exceedes that of any other marvel super hero or villan, he lacks one thing. He doesn't have the clear competent intellect many other heroes posses that are around his strength class. For this reason The Hulk always has a chance to lose to weaker but more clever heroes like Spiderman, Captain America, and Wolverine.

But its still fair to say that The Hulk is more than a formidable challenge for Captain America. Thus, Captain America not only has years of combat experience under his belt, but he also has the experince of fighting enemies that are much more powerful than he is.

Captain Falcon:


As a bounty hunter, Captain Falcon has to deal with a lot of intergalatic scum. However, the toughest enemy Captain Falcon has ever had to face is Black Shadow. Since Black Shadow is supposed to be Captain Falcon's evil counterpart, the ying to his yang, it is assumed that both are on the same strength level. So while Captain Falcon has never had to fight anyone on the same level as the Hulk, he none the less has plenty of combat experince being a bounty hunter, and has fought a super villian with superhuman capabilities.

Powers, abilities, and skills:

Captain America


Straight from Wikipedia:

"Captain America has no superhuman powers, although as a result of the Super-Soldier serum and vita-ray treatment, he is transformed from a frail young man into a "perfect" specimen of human development and conditioning. Captain America's strength, endurance, agility, speed, reflexes, and durability are at the highest limits of natural human potential. It has been established that Rogers' body regularly creates the super-soldier serum; it does not wear off.[60]

The formula enhances all of his metabolic functions and prevents the build-up of fatigue poisons in his muscles, giving him endurance far in excess of an ordinary human being. This accounts for many of his extraordinary feats, including bench pressing 1100 pounds (500kg) and running a mile (1.6 km) in little more than a minute.[61] Furthermore, his enhancements are the reason why he was able to survive being frozen in suspended animation for decades. Rogers is also unable to become intoxicated by alcohol and is immune to many diseases, as he also heals faster than normal.

Mentally, Rogers' battle experience and training make him an expert tactician and an excellent field commander, with his teammates frequently deferring to his orders in battle. Rogers' reflexes and senses are also extraordinarily keen. He is a master of multiple martial arts. Years of practice with his indestructible shield make him able to aim and throw it with almost unerring accuracy. His skill with his shield is such that he can attack multiple targets in succession with a single throw or even cause a boomerang-like return from a throw to attack an enemy from behind. In the comics, he is regarded by other skilled fighters as one of the best hand-to-hand combatants in the Marvel Universe."

TLDR version: Captain America has no "super powers", but he is the pinnacle of human ability, the most powerful a human can be without actually being super human. Some of his most amazing feats include bench pressing 1,000 pounds and running a mile in under a minute. The Super Soldier serum gives him increadible stamina and makes him heal much faster than the average human, although his regeneration abilities are no where near of that of super hereos like Deadpool and Wolverine. Captain America is a master tactictian, and is also considered the best hand to hand combatant in the marvel universe.

Captain Falcon:


Captain Falcon like Captain America is also in extremely good physical condition. However, Captain Falcon in my opinion is on the superhuman scale of power. In terms of strenth, both Captain America and Captain Falcon are on the same level. However, Captain Falcon's attacks are augmented with fire, and he is one of the fastest dashers in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, only behind sonic in terms of dashing speed. And like I stated before, Captain Falcon is a bounty hunter so he has years of experince with hand to hand combat as well.


Well in terms of equipment, Captain America's shield and suit both provide added protection against Captain Falcon's firey attacks. Captain Falcon's Blue falcon beats Captain America's S.H.I.E.L.D motorcycle, but I doubt the fight will revolve around vechiles anyway.

Like I stated before, Captain America has experince fighting foes much stronger than Captain Falcon, so this isn't anything new for him. Captain Falcon has fought Black Shadow before and won, who is just as powerful, if not more so than Captain America.

Both combatants in terms of strength are equal. Even though Captain Falcon has poweful fire attacks, Captain America's shield and suit provide ample protection against these attacks.In terms of speed, Captain Falcon does outclass Captain America, but it not a huge advantage that the patriotic hero can't find his way around. Finally, when it comes to hand to hand combat Captain America wins, he is considered not only the best hand to hand combatant in the Marvel Universe, but in other comic book universes as well rivialing the abilities of even that of Batman.


Captain America


October 24, 2008

The Legendary Tale of Brachus the Whale

Brachus the Whale: Legendary Sheep Herder

Note: It's pronounced Bra-kuss

Far too long has it been since I've written a story. Time for some fun.

Legend tells of a whale named Brachus, the greatest sheep herder in all of Scotsdale. This is the tale of his most thrilling epic adventure/journey/battle. It was late one night when Brachus was scouring the fields for his missing sheep. A paperboy was stumbling along nearby delivering the middle-of-the-night edition of The Scotdale Infomationer. Brachus happened to take a copy and noticed that the cover story was about sheep going missing all over Scotsdale. Nothing boiled his cabbage more than sheep-nappers. Brachus blew applesauce out of his blowhole in a angry rage and declared that he would hunt down this crazy sheep stealer. He clapped his hands and the sun turned on, he clapped them again and called forth his battle llama. He reached into his side pocket and pulled out his mighty beefs. He bit off a chunk, mounted his llama and rode off into the horizon. By the time he reached the horizon, the horizon had moved so he kept chasing it for 83 days until he forgot why he was riding in circles. He bit off another chunk of beefs and refreshed his brain. Suddenly, it all came back to him. He remembered the guy that was stealing sheep. His cabbage now thoroughly boiled, he kept on. He searched through the Great Desserts of Hotland, the Ice Pops of Frigidville, and the Marshes of Swampenberg. Feeling as though he would never find the culprit, he assumed the fetal position and began bawling while stuffing his face with marshmallows. Some one came up from behind and tapped him on the shoulder. This startled Brachus and he automatically bit off the man's head. Another man came running up behind the first and told Brachus, "Look for the lights in the sky. There shall all things be made soft and squishy. In this land the one you seek is hiding disguised as a disguise. If you find him and defeat him all will be set right in Scotsdale. If you do not, it really won't make much of a difference. Sheep are expendable. You can always get more." This comment upset Brachus and he bit off this man's head too. But those words lingered in his mind. He looked to the sky and saw a bright neon sign that read: He's over here, you doofbutt. He followed it and found a glowwerm. The glowwerm belched and opened up a portal to next Tuesday. Brachus jumped in and was transported to an enchanted cement factory. The fiend was turning the sheep into cheap novelty items! Brachus could stand it no longer. He whipped out his almighty doom weapon: a stale french baguette. "Where are you!? I will tear out your eyes and make pudding with them! I shall mash up your body and use it as a seat cushion! I'll rip out your teeth and fingernails and put them back in the wrong place. I'll-" Brachus was cut off by a giant implosion. Platoons of headless raisins marched out of the machinery. "Fool," said a voice, "I am not to be dealt with. I am the Mighty Grand Master of Stuffs and you cannot defeat me." He walked out of the shadows. Brachus stumbled back. It was a monstrous sheep. "Why... why would you do this to your own kind." Because we suck. The Grand Master took out a pop-gun and shot himself 6 times in the head. He slumped over into a vat of cream cheese. "Noooooo!!!!!!" Brachus screamed as he ran to the vat. "I will set things right!" He took out a soup ladle and began to play a happy tune. The sheep all came out of their slumber of death. Brachus lead the zombie sheep back through the wermportal and into last week. He lead them back to the sheepy fields of Scotsdale. And all was almost as if nothing had happened. No one even bothered to question why most of the sheep were zombies. The disappearance of the neon sign disturbed several citizens, however.

And that was the tale of Brachus the Whale: Legendary Sheep Herder. It is said that every 6th month of every 12th year, Brachus leads the sheep into next Tuesday for an awesome house party with the headless raisins. When it happens, the neon sign returns and everyone is put at ease. But that's not all Brachus ever accomplished, before he was a sheep herder, Brachus was the greatest mariner that ever lived. But that is a story for another day.

October 19, 2008

October 16, 2008

Time to get excited...

If you complete the newly released PS3 version of BioShock, you are treated to this video:

Also, this is the 200th POST! WOOT!

October 14, 2008

Another sequel to an old classic

It's not the best quality, but it's the only version in existence (as far as I know, that is).

October 9, 2008

Can you handle even more Halo?

I don't think you can. But if you do, here are some goodies for you:

1. Halo Wars Tunes

There's a couple of sample tracks from Halo Wars at the composer's website. I was a little concerned about the music, but after listening to these, I'm put more at ease.

2. Halo: The Cole Protocol press release

NEW YORK, NY – October 7, 2008. Tor Books today announced Halo: The Cole Protocol will be released on November 25 – just in time for the holidays! The cover image for the new novel has been officially revealed to coincide with the announcement (see attached).
Halo: The Cole Protocol is the sixth in the New York Times bestselling literary series based on the blockbuster Microsoft and Bungie Studios' Halo® video games. An unabridged audiobook edition will publish simultaneously with the new novel.
Written by Nebula nominee and Prometheus Award finalist, Tobias Buckell, Halo: The Cole Protocol unveils the location of the Spartan Gray Team and takes readers into an unexplored conflict of the Human-Covenant War, where unlikely alliances are formed and shattered, altering the course of the humanity's epic struggle for survival. The Halo novels, Halo: Ghosts of Onyx (Tor 2006) and Halo: Contact Harvest (Tor 2007) became instant bestsellers and they, along with the three previous novels, have helped establish Halo® as one of today's greatest science fiction franchises.
Pricing: $14.95 Trade Paperback Original / $23.95 Macmillan Audio

Now, you too can has recon!

Can you handle two new Halo games next year? I'm not sure I can. The prospect makes my brain explode. Whether you want it or not, you're getting it. Bungie's latest project was further fleshed out today. Say Hello to Halo 3: Recon. It seems that I was correct in my predictions. The game is a "prequel" to Halo 3 that takes place during the Second Battle of Earth. You play as a (seemingly) lone ODST in the ruins of New Mombasa. The game will have an all new campaign with co-op and new multiplayer content. From the looks of things, it would appear that the game is not squad-based and is a brand new game and not just an expansion. Plus, Bungie even calls it "our next game." It'll be out next fall. Enjoy the new trailer.

On that note, some new footage of Halo Wars came out today and man does it look sharp! The new footage continues the latest trailer and adds something at the end that really makes you wonder how they are able to add this and still keep to the Halo canon.

October 8, 2008

I freakin love Indian people!

From the translator of Benny Lava comes the (apparently) Indian version of Thriller. Prepare to laugh.

October 7, 2008

Halo Wars Gameplay

As requested, here are some Halo Wars gameplay videos:

October 5, 2008

Teh Halo Warz are exploding mine brain!

Halo Wars has some of the best graphics I've seen in any game on any platform ever. I kid you not. A new trailer came out the other day the exploded my mind and caused it to ooze out my eye sockets. Again, like the Keep It Clean trailer, I implore you to watch it in HD or you'll really be missing out. If your not excited for this game after watching this, there's something wrong with you. Especially if you call yourself a Halo fan. Shame on you!

Embedded version in SD (may or may not explode the website):

October 3, 2008


NINE THOUSAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hits.

Thanks for all the support. Keep it up!

More for you

I've added a few more links in the 'ol sidebar that no one uses. For those of you who have never looked at the links, I'd like to elaborate on why you should by explaining where those links lead to.

IGN- Goes to IGN, my personal favorite webspace. They cover everything, basically, from comic books to cars.

HBO- Halo.Bungie.Org is the largest Halo community on the web. I keep up to date with the latest Halo-related news through this site.

All You See- Actaully, it's AllUC- but that's corny. It's basically links to watch shows/movies on the web.

TV- Links- Yup, everyone's favorite free-TV-through-the-internet site is back.

ShoutCast Radio- This is awesome. ShoutCast links you to thousands of radiostations all over the place through your internet connection. Definiately worth a look. The variety of stations is staggering. I'm considering adding a ShoutCast widget to the sidebar of doom. Let me know what you think.

Anime Crazy- Large collection of anime to watch.

FailBlog- FailBlog is only the most entertaining website ever. It showcases people's failures. Make sure to check out the rest of the network of sites associated with FailBlog. They will make your day.

Pandora Radio- It's completely different from ShoutCast. You type in a song or artist, and Pandora plays music that is similar in style. It's a great way to find new music.

Free MP3s- Well, I was looking for album art one day and I stumbled accross albumart.com. I soon discovered that once you typed in an artist, CD, or song title, that they link you to a vast selection of MP3s. If your worried about getting caught with LimeWire, download from this site.

iGod- Ever wanted to speak to God? Well, you can't. But you can IM him.

Game Soundtrack Downloads- The most extensive collection anywhere on the web. If you ever wanted free game music, this is your wet dream.

Weebls-Stuff- Home of Weebl and Bob and the badgers and Magical Treavor and the Toast King and Cat Face and you get the idea.

They Might Be Giants- Just 'cause they're awesome.

I hope someone finally checks out the links now!