February 29, 2008

HAPPY LEAP DAY!

Today is the 29th of February. A pretend day that comes only once every four years. Few know the magical story behind this nonexistent day, but I have hacked into government files of doom and have discovered the true story.

It all started in the year 6. The Mexican professor Ivan McDurvan was inventing a way to make Cheetos purple. His machine backfired on the 28th of February and caused a rift in space-time (not time-space, the two are completely different) which caused the earth to leap into itself. It was stuck inside itself in a nonexistent paradox of death for an entire day until Ivan McDurvan was able to reverse the effect using the effect-reverse machine. Unfortunately, the rift opens up every four years because a powdered doughnut was stuck in the circuitry causing it to explodinate and thus creating a spoodle in the universe's atmosphere which re-opens the hole on a basis measured by the amount of population it takes to fill up the island of Guam. Basically, it always equals four years exactly after the 28th of February. So, every four years the rift sucks the earth inside itself while everyone is sleeping and we enter into the nonexistent day of February 29th. We are quietly returned to normal 24 hours afterwards. However, every time the earth makes the jump, a few people are left behind with small about of the earth's life force. This means, eventually, that everyone on earth will disappear inside the earth and then the earth will die trapping everyone in the nonexistent 29th of February on a nonexistent earth.

Some believe the tale, others think it's government nonsense. What do you believe?

No comments:

Post a Comment