November 3, 2009

The Unfinished Posts Post

Unsurprisingly, we've had a lot of posts over the years that... well, never were completed. Surprisingly, the number is substantially lower than I thought it would be. There's a grand total of 15 unfinished posts between Doegab and I dating all the way back to the GameWeb era of 2005. So, for you're amusement (or something) here they are:


Gaming OVERLOAD!!!
author: N-man (Fuzunga)
original conception: 4/11/05
reason not published: laziness?

Tons of games have been announced in the last week!

Crash Tag Team Racing- http://cube.ign.com/articles/602/602482p1.html

Jak X: Combat Racing- http://ps2.ign.com/articles/602/602506p1.html

Rathet: Dreadlocked- http://ps2.ign.com/articles/602/602513p1.html

Sly 3- http://ps2.ign.com/articles/602/602511p1.html

Notes: Wow. This was last-gen wasn't it?


Jump Superstars: The Review!!!!!!
author: N-man (Fuzunga)
original conception: 10/11/05
reason not published: busy?

Finally, after 2 1/2 weeks of waiting it finally arrived at my mailbox! I eagerly opende it and popped it into my DS! It was then that I realized I had no idea what I was doing. Not to worry, I just pulled up IGN's handy guide that translated everthing for me. Soon enough, I learned how to make my deck and just what each missions objectives were.

At heart, Jump Superstars is a fighting game, but it also has a deep card-based 

Notes: You'll never know exactly what this game was. It's a deep card-based. That's all you'll ever know. But seriously, I imported this game from Japan and it's actually quite good. A sequel was released the following year that I always wanted to get. It's like Smash Bros. with manga characters for those of you not in the know. Also, why was the font different for this post? And wtf with the exclamation points? I must have had some sort of fetish for them back then. 


Captain Falcon Part 1: Rejection 
author: Doegab
original conception: 12:29/07
reason not published: loss of interest?

Setting: (The male locker rooms inside SSB arena. The smell of sweat and testosterone fills the air. Sweaty socks and jockstraps are hanging out of lockers. There are three shower stalls, two of them are out of order. One because of a pipe leakage, the other because there is a dead goomba stuck in the shower head. Next to the shower stall stands Mario, Fox, and Roy. They are all waiting impatiently for Captain Falcon to get out of the shower.)

CAPTAIN FALCON: (Singing) Do what you want because a Pirate is free! You are a Pirate!

MARIO: (groaning) Mama mia! He has sung that song for an hour straight now!

FOX: (sighing) I know but what can you do?

ROY: I say we kick the bastard out!

FOX: (points to door) Go ahead be my guest.

(Roy draws his sword and walks in. All of a sudden music starts playing and Roy is hit out of the shower by a massively large hammer. He flies of screen and "dies".)

MARIO: (looks at Fox confused) Wait where not on a level where does he go when he dies?

FOX: Back to the character select screen, don't worry he will be back soon.

(Enter Bowser)

BOWSER: What's the hold up is Captain Falcon in the shower again?

MARIO/FOX: (sighing) Yes...

CAPTAIN FALCON: (singing) Yarr har fiddle dee dee, if you love to sail the sea, you are a pirate!

MARIO: Well mabye we could have used the other shower if someone hadn't stuffed a goomba in it!

BOWSER: (glaring at Mario) I hate jumping on goombas, usally I'll just incinerate them with my breath or eat them but this one really bothered me so i thought I would teach him a lesson.

MARIO: By stuffing him in a shower head.....

FOX: Hey who ruined the other shower head anyway?

MARIO: (groan) Mr. Game and Watch.

(Enter Mr. Game and Watch)

MR. GAME AND WATCH: Hey muh ma fuckin niggas

FOX: (looks around angrily) Who the hell gave him the locker room keys?

MR.GAME AND WATCH:
Hey pimpz ah wuz cooking some bacon when muh ma fuckin bitch came up an' started bothering me. I pimped slapped dat hoe beeotch an' told her ta make me uh sandwich. Ya dig?

BOWSER: Look Game, the situation is aggravating enough already, we need to get Captain Falcon out of the shower.

MR. GAME AND WATCH:
Don't be uh pussy go kick dat nigga's ass.

BOWSER: (trying to hold back his rage) Look, he has the hammer, he already sent Roy flying off screen, we can't just go rushing in.

MR. GAME AND WATCH: Hold on g I got an idea. Ey Pickabitch get yo ass ovar here.

(Enter Picakchu)

PICKACHU: PIKA?

MR. GAME AND WATCH: ( points to shower) Fry dat mothafucka pickabitch.


THEN EVERYTHING EXPLODED



Notes: This was to be an epic play about Captain Falcon being rejected. Or something. Anyway, it was never finished for some reason but I think it ends in the best possible place. I'm pretty sure I added in that last line myself, as I would sometimes do to comment on a post-in-progress and give the author some feedback. 


SSBB  Character Rating Scale
author: Doegab
original conception: 1/26/08
reason not published: no need

Obviously, SSBB is going to have a lot of new characters, as well as some returning ones. Most of these new chracters are great and a lot of my old favoirte characters have been brought back (grrr except captain falcon). However there are some character which just baffle me and make want to stuff a pickachu up nintendo's ass. Anyway without further delay here is my SSBB rating scale.

Notes: This post originally contained two broken images that I deleted. Lol without further delay. How ironic. Oh, and that last post makes sense now. It must have been before Capt. Falcon was announced for the game.


The Berseker Mist
author: Doegab (sorta)
original conception: 3/1/08
reason not published: published elsewhere

WTF!? You didn't write anything!

Notes: That was me, being angry. I'm pretty sure this post was published on one of Doegab's many now-defunct blogs.



Two Great Music Videos
author: Doegab
original conception: 4/17/08
reason not published: no idea

LOL! Both these songs are extremely catchy but disturbing as well....

Notes: The music videos were never embedded in the post. Now that's laziness.


Spore Creature Creator
author: Doegab
original conception: 6/23/08
reason not published: dunno. too many pictures? 

Yeah I know it's been a while since the last post, between computer problems, work, and laziness its been kinda hard to post these last few days.

So I decided to beat N-man to the punch, and write a review on Spore Creature Creator.

To start off, Spore creature creator is not really a stand alone game. It is just a very lengthly demo that is sold at stores. The creature creator only covers

Notes: The ironic thing is, because he never finished this post, I beat him to the punch as you will see.


Doegab's Spore Creatures
author: Doebag
original conception: 6/25/08
reason not published: the realization that mine were better?

Well I though since N-man posted some of his spore creations I would go ahead and post them as well.




Juggernaught was my first creation and was my most popular one until very recently. At first I thought the creature would come out really goofy looking since he essentially just started out as a big ball.I was wrong however and one of my most BAMF creatures came to life.



Another BAMF creature. The Grizzly Womp is one of my personal favoirites, his design and color just make him an awsome creature in my opinion.






Notes: Now it all makes sense, eh?



Now That 1up.com is Dead...
author: Doegab
original conception: 1/7/09
reason not published: busy or lazy?

Well it's not technically "dead" since 1UP will just be incorperated into UGO's site. But it might as well be, since UGO in my opinion is a flamming pile of cammel feces. So in order to prevent UGO from getting as little traffic as possible, I'm going to recomend some other gaming sites readers can get their news from.

Gamefaqs.com

While the desgin is a a bit boring and lacking, Gamefaqs is none the less a great site for video game news. The best feature that the site has to offer however are the free in depth video game stradegy guides. Without a doubt you will not find better stradegy guides anywhere on the internet, and from personal experince I would take most of these guides are better than the offical store sold stradegy guides,

Notes: We should be at the top of that list. Oh wait, we're not big on news here. Uh... yeah...



Grudge Match: Dub vs. Dub
author: Fuzunga
original conception: 2/17/09
reason not published: internet fail

It's the age-old debate between Anime buffs: are dubs necessarily a good thing? For better or worse, everything aired in this country will, whether you like it or not, be dubbed. Some dubs suck, others fair much better, but one thing we all can agree on whether or not the translation is accurate or not is that anime becomes simply unwatchable if the voice actors suck. With that in mind, this grudge match will analyze the two biggest dubs for one of anime's biggest shows, Drabonall Z, and solve the Dragonball's own age-old debate: Which dub is truly superior, Funimation or Ocean Group?

Here's a little known (or maybe it's not) fact: when DBZ premiered in North America, it was dubbed by Ocean Group. All those voices you probably grew up with and no longer remember were there's. I say you don't remember them any more because after a few years, Funimation got the rights and dubbed the series from Frieza onward. Then they did Dragonball. Then they did DBGT. You've been brainwashed into thinking this is how the characters should sound. Anything else will seem like heresy. Deep down, though, you'll remember Ocean Group. They were the ones who produced that famous "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAANNNDD!" line. Hell, they dubbed all of DBZ and all of DBGT for Canada. They also have a strong fanbase. Come to think of it, both groups have their crazy devout followers. But which is truly superior? Let's take an unbiased analytical look.

Well, I'm not totally unbiased. I, too, am very used to Funimation. That doesn't mean they're the all around best however. First, let's start with Vegeta. Everyboday knows that old "over 9000" bit, but did you know it was Brian Drummond who voiced the character back then? I share the opinion with may other fans that Drummond made a far better Vegeta in the early sagas of the show when Vegeta was still and evil character stuggling inside. Also, he sounded like a sleezy used car salseman. Chris Sabat, Funimation's voice actor, does a fine voice for Vegeta and I think it's more appropriate in later sagas. However, I recently watched a clip comparing the show from 1997 and 2007 when Funi redubbed the entire thing for God knows what reason. Back when Sabat was first discovering the character of Vegeta, the voice was much different, as most animated voices are. Try comparing the Simpsons from the 80s to the show today. The voices and animation have achieved a fine polish. In this case, however, it upsets me because I think Vegeta's original voice was more appropriate. It was more like Drummonds. The natural evolution of his voice fit the natural evolution and aging of the character. Check it out and keep in mind both voices are Sabat. Imbedding disabled by request, in case you were wondering. Anyway, this video also shows that Sonny Straight seems to be immune to the evolving voice thing. He actually did rebub Krillin, but he sounds exactly the same. Odd.

Notes: This one hurts me. I really want to finish it. I keep forgetting about it. The problem was that this article relied heavily on YouTube videos to showcase the different voice actors, but my internet at the time was uber bad. I've since gotten a new modem and it's awesome, although now that I'm at school it sucks again. Someday I will finish this. When I do, don't expect the opening paragraphs to be any different.



Recent Trends in Gaming
author: Fuzunga
original conception: 4/12/09
reason not published: it was, but it was called something different

I've noticed some trends lately that I find interesting:

Is the Wii hardcore?
While the gimmicks and the cooking games keep on coming, I've noticed lately that more and more developers are making real gamers' games. It seemed to start with ports and escalate from there. Okami came out not all that long ago with revamped controls.

Notes: The finished post is here.


They Changed it Again!
author: Fuzunga
original conception: 5/6/09
reason not published: couldn't find a good enough picture

Within three years, Sprite changed their logo from this:












To this:












To this:

Notes: I would have posted a picture of the new Sprite logo (if I could find one) and added a few remarks. That would have been the whole post.


MicroReview: Kodu
author: Fuzunga
original conception: 7/16/09
reason not published: lazy

I want to like Kodu, I really do, but it's far more complicated than it should be. For those of you not in the know, Kodu is a game development tool recently released on Xbox Live. Not the arcade, mind you, but the

Notes: Here's the full review: don't buy it.



What to Play This Fall
author: Fuzunga
original conception: 8/17/09
reason not published: no need

Game publishers have gone crazy. A massive bulk of this Fall's games have been pushed back to the first quarter of 2010 to avoid the stiff competition of the upcoming season. In doing so, however, they've created a situation in which the games still coming out this Fall actually benefit. I'm not sure what they're hoping to accomplish by delaying so many games until early next year, but it's creating the same problem. The fact of the matter is a lot of big games got delayed which is good for the games that didn't and bad for the games that did.

So, what's left to play this year? Plenty of stuff, actually. But here's what you won't be playing:
  • Army of Two: The 40th Day
  • Dark Void
  • Splinter Cell Conviction
  • I Am Alive
  • Ghost Recon 4
  • Red Steel 2
  • Bayonetta
  • BioShock 2
  • Singularity
  • Splatterhouse
  • Mafia II
  • Red Dead Redemption
  • Mass Effect 2
Some of those games were never announced for 2009 but were assumed to come out this year. For some games, it was not much of a surprise. But for some, it has been painful to accept. So, what's left to play by year's end. A lot actually.

Notes: Most of those games I was about to mention are about to come out. Some of them already did. Still, that list above is depressing. Pretty sure it got larger, too. Yeah, it did. Darksiders and Dante's Inferno aren't even on there.


Perhaps it is Story Time?
author: Fuzunga
original conception: 9/4/09
reason not published: no material

Notes: This post had no text. None. Perhaps that is the story... Anyway, I later wrote that koala thing to make up for it. Consider that this.


What have we learned? 2006 was a productive year.

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