July 1, 2008

More Movie Reviews!

Hooray! Everyone loves movie reviews! Expect this many pretty much all summer long.


Wall-E is a sweet tale of a robot love story. Wait. Robots can fall in love? I want' even aware that robots had emotions. As Bender once said: "Robots don't have emotions. And sometimes that makes me very sad." Anyway, it's all rather touching and well done unless your a sad lonely person with no love in your life. Then it just makes you depressed. Other than the whole "love story" thing, the sub-plot/ underlying meaning of the story is enough to make happy people depressed. In Wall-E, earth has become so full of trash that the government tricks its inhabitants into a "seven" year space cruise. Those seven years become seven hundred as they find out that the job of cleaning up was to daunting for the Wall-E robots left behind. So the people of earth evolve into obese, mindwashed blobs as they float through space. Though there was an original intension of recolonizing earth, it was scrapped because the earth was apparently no longer life-sustaining. And so, the captain of the ship sends out robot probes every so often to search for plant life on earth. If one comes back positive, then it is safe to return home. The problem is, shortly after the cruise took off, the ships "AI" was instructed never to return home because it couldn't sustain life. Well, that's where Wall-E and Eve come in. Eve is the probe robot sent to earth who is given a plant that had been accidentally discovered by Wall-E, the last operational clean-up bot on Earh. The two fall in love and... I pretty much just ruined the entire plot. I'm going to shut up now. On one final note, this movie had the best CGI animation ever.


Wow. Wanted is the best movie I've seen so far this summer and, quite possibly, this year. It's just so packed full of awesome that I can't even describe it. If you've even heard of this movie, then you know what it's about from the previews. Basically, a young man with a boring job is found by a fraternity of assassins and told he is the son of one of the greatest assassins ever. He's sent to take down a rogue agent that killed his father, but first must under go some (painful) intense training. That's about all you need to know. I don't want to spoil anything because the plot takes some surprising turns that I didn't see coming. Pretty much everything about this movie is awesome: the plot, the action, the special effects, etc. But am I the only one who thinks Angelina Jole looks completely goofy when she's angry? Ah, well. It doesn't matter because you get to see her naked ass. On a final note, I had no idea this was based on a comic. That puts it way up there on my list of best comic book movies. Oh, and if the name Sloan sounds familiar, that's because it's the name of a company that makes toilets.

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