December 29, 2007

Oranges and Orgies: The Epic Tale of Shroompuffin

On the day of Latter Made Saints, Shroompuffin was walking towards the annul orgies and oranges feast down by the hoe house. Shroompuffin loved oranges and hoped to get some for his grandmother.
However when reaching the great plateau of orgies and oranges, he noticed a particularly orgieanic orange. He started at it in awe, it would be perfect for his grandmother! Just as he went to pick it up he was surrounded by three Hoes. Their shiny metal heads and wooden bodies terrified him. Quickly grabbing the orange he ran as fast as a dobleflooper tripping over some orgasaming hippies and wanking walruses. The wanking walruses where displeased and decided to purse him as well. Shroompuffin was in a situation tighter than a fat strippers g-string. He knew he has to do something fast. Think quickly he jumped on a yellow bellied Yoshi and attempted to sail to the moon, now orange from all it's orange orgie orgasmes.
On the moon he meet Pete who sold him so whale roids to combat the horrendous hoes and wankaful walruses. As fast as possible, Shroompuffin injected a dose of the whale roids into his pelvic area. Instantly he grew buff, his wewanka shrank, and his face was filled with acne. Shroom wasn't worried though, he always carried a bottle of proacitve for situations such as these. Jumping back on his yellow belly Yoshi he sailed back to Earth, defeating the hoes and the walruses. Like the idiot he is, Shroompuffin stuck the orange he had found into his blowhole and blew. The orange had a chemical reaction with the roid infected air from the blow horn. In an instant the orange formed an egg and out of that egg sprouted Mr. T! Thus the first black person was born.
Appalled by what he had created, Shroompuffin launched Mr. T to a continent with no natural resources. This continent later became known as Africa.

Shroompuffin was now starting to feel the effects from the whale roids. He went mad and slaughtered a pack or orgasm seeking hippies. This angered the God of Orgies, Eric Clapton who struck Shroompuffin with a D-minor note and killed him. Thus ending the epic tale of Shroompuffin and his valiant deeds.

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