The Platinum Demo has me worried about FFXV

About a year ago, Square-Enix released the first public demo of Final Fantasy 15 packaged along with Final Fantasy Typo HD. I bought Typo just so I could play it, and it was worth every penny. Episode Duscae, as it was called, was a demo in the classic sense. It excised a chunk of the main game that showed off nearly all of the systems coming to the final release. It was glorious. Perfect! Everything I'd hoped Final Fantasy XV would be after ten years of waiting. It raised my hype through the roof and left me chomping at the bit for more. 

The new Platinum Demo achieved none of those things. In fact, it might have undone them. Whereas Episode Duscae confirmed to me that Final Fantasy XV was going to be the amazing game I hoped it would be, the Platinum Demo has cast doubt on my eager anticipation. There's a few problems with it, starting with the fact that they'd make this objectively inferior taste of Final Fantasy XV the only taste available to the general public. 

Introducing Battle of Fate: Heroes of Championia

From the makers of makers of Puzzle Matcher Adventure and the publisher of Groovin' Hooves: Funky Bovine 2 comes a brand new competitive experience like any other: 

Battle of Fate Heroes of Championia

Battle of Fate is an exciting new multiplyer online tactical strategy class-based shooter role-playing competitive arena esports battle simulator, and your new favorite game. Here are just some of the exciting features awaiting you in Battle of Fate:

Seven of My Favorite Corny Game Themes

There's a lot of video game music out there, but every so often we get some lyrical themes. Sometimes these are awesome (like in Portal or Metal Gear) but other times they're incredibly cheesy or goofy. Deep down inside, though, we all know that's the best kind. The recently released Xenoblade Chronicles X is like a Mecca for this kind of music, with many of the games songs being so corny they're awesome. That got me thinking of other cheesy game themes, so I've compiled this list with some of my favorites.

Oh, and sorry about the weird formatting. I don't really want to attempt changing it.

The Xbox One Makes Me Want to Give Up on Video Games

I've been trying to express my feelings on the Xbox One for quite some time, and I've gone through maybe three or four different iterations. None of them felt right. My goal was not to sound like a whiny bitch, but you know what? Fuck that. I'm going to be a whiny bitch because that's what the Xbox One deserves. See, the Xbox One is a piece of shit. It's the worst console I've ever owned, and probably the worst ever made. Worse than the 3DO or the Virtual Boy or even the Gizmondo, which I'm pretty sure was a scam. Every time I try to play the Xbox One I'm filled with rage followed by a profound sadness. It's almost like the five stages of grief, where I start out in disbelief that a video game system can be so much of a hassle, then I'm pleading with the forces that be to make the damn thing work how I want it to, then I finally accept that it just sucks and give up. I used to own an Xbox and an Xbox 360. I loved them! I want to love the Xbox One too, but I just can’t.

A History of I04's April Fool Lies That Came True

Big-name websites have it rough for April Fools' Day. Sure they can make some silly gags, but it always has to clearly be a joke. On my dinky little blog that nobody reads, though, I can outright lie about things to trick everybody and I'll never get in trouble for it. Over the years, I have passed off many a fraudulent article as the truth. A lot of the time I ended up totally tricking my friends into believing these, which of course lead to disappointment that they weren't real. As it turns out, I guess I'm some sort of psychic because over the years many of my prank posts turned out to eventually be true. 

Over & Under: Bomberman Hero

Over and Under is a series where I highlight my favorite video game soundtracks that are overlooked or underrated. In this installment, I’ll be looking at the one-of-a-kind soundtrack of Bomberman Hero.

The soundtrack for Bomberman Hero feels like the culmination of Jun Chikuma’s body of work. She had been composing music for Bomerman since the original game’s NES release in 1985, and Bomberman Hero would be one of her final games before she moved on to other projects. Released in 1998, Bomberman Hero was a radical departure for the series and was obviously developed as a response to the boom in 3D platformers that was brought about by Super Mario 64. Bomberman could jump in this game, for one, and the game had no multiplayer component whatsoever.

How to Avoid Raptor Claws: A Guide to Handheld Gaming Grips

You're having a good old time playing your favorite handheld game and then it happens: you realize your hands have contorted into a pretzeld nightmare. Raptor claws. I, too, used to game in pain until I realized there was a better way. So let me help you get a handle on the situation. The answer, my friends, is molded plastic. But there are many varieties of such plastic and many handhelds. You want to avoid crippling hand pain but don't know where to start? Luckily for you, I'm crazy and have money to blow. I have spent years acquiring a collection of handhelds and grips, perhaps in preparation for this day. So here it is, the event hundreds of dollars in the making. Find your preferred handheld below and get ready to board the train to grip town!

Review Redux: Pac-Man Championship Edition DX

Here's a review from way back in 2010, with the crazy convoluted review system I came up with at the time.

The Installation 04 BOOTY Awards 2015

What a dang year that was, huh? I mean really, 2015 was one for the history books. It was just 12 months of one excellent game being released after another. When I started the BOOTY awards, I used to pick my top three games. Some years, I even struggled to come up with that many. A few years back, I bumped it up to five because the quality of games was really beginning to increase. But 2015? I'm not sure if I can even even pick just five games because there were so many good ones. Will I? Won't I? Find out within, after a million other awards!

Game Critique Redux: Super Meat Boy

In December 2010, one of my all-time favorite games was released. I remember hearing little murmurs here and there about this game earlier that year. It was another one of those New Grounds flash games that was about to make it to the big time. I mostly dismissed it, but the game stayed in the back of my mind, if only because of its weirdness. Finally, towards the end of October it released, and at the promotional price of $10, no less. So I thought "What the hell, why not give it a try?" and I downloaded the demo. I nearly passed it up because I thought it would be too difficult for me to enjoy. I've never been more wrong. And so a game I almost didn't give a chance ended up becoming my Game of the Year pick for 2010. I am, of course, talking about Super Meat Boy.